Obsessions and Love Addiction ! 10 Common Questions Men Have About Sex Addiction.
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Obsessions and Love Addiction
When an
obsession dominates us, it steals our will and saps all the pleasure out of
life. We become numb to people and events, while our mind replays the same
dialogue images, or words. In a conversation, we have little interest in what
the other person is saying and soon talk about our obsession, oblivious to the
impact on our listener.
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Obsessions can
paralyze us. Other times, they can lead to compulsive behavior like repeatedly
checking our email, our weight, or whether the doors are locked. We lose touch with
ourselves, our feelings, and our ability to reason and solve problems.
Obsessions like this are usually driven by fear.
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Obsessions and
Addiction
Codependents
(which includes addicts) focus on the external. Addicts obsess about the object
of their addiction - alcoholics about drinking, sex addicts about sex, food
addicts about food. Our thinking and behavior revolves around the object of our
addiction, while our true self is cloaked with shame. But we can obsess about
anyone or anything.
Also Read :
Obsessions and
Relationships
Codependents
typically obsess about people they love and care for, including their problems.
They might obsess and worry about an alcoholic's behavior, not realizing they
have become as preoccupied with him or her as the alcoholic is with alcohol.
Obsessions can feed compulsive attempts to control others, such as following
someone, reading another person's diary, emails, or texts, diluting bottles of
liquor, hiding keys, or searching for drugs. None of this helps, but only
causes more chaos and conflict. The more we're obsessed with someone else, the
more of ourselves we lose. When asked how we are, we may quickly change the
subject to the person we're obsessed with.
Some
codependents are consumed by obsessive love. They might call their loved one
many times a day, demand attention and responses, and feel easily hurt,
rejected, or abandoned. Actually, this isn't really love at all, but an
expression of a desperate need to bond and escape loneliness and inner
emptiness. It usually pushes the other person away. Real love accepts the other
person and respects their needs.
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What Causes
Obsession?
Often certain
feelings are shame-bound because they were shamed in childhood. When they arise
in adulthood, we might obsess instead. If we believe we shouldn't feel anger or
express it, we might not be able to let go of resentment about someone rather
than allow ourselves to feel angry. If sadness was shamed, we might obsess
about a romantic interest to avoid feeling the pain of loneliness or rejection.
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Of course,
sometimes, we really are obsessing because we're very afraid that a loved one
will commit suicide, get arrested, overdose, or die or kill someone while
driving drunk. Yet, we might also obsess about a small problem to avoid facing
a larger one. For example, a mother of a drug addict might obsess about her
son's sloppiness, but not confront or even admit to herself that he could die
from his addiction. A perfectionist might obsess about a minor flaw in his or
her appearance, but not acknowledge feelings of inferiority or unlovability.
Tips for
Dealing with Obsessions
The best way to
end an obsession is to "lose our mind and come to our senses!" It
follows that if an obsession is to avoid feeling, getting in touch with
feelings and allowing them to flow will help dissolve our obsession. If our
obsession helps us avoid taking action, we can get support to face our fears and
act. When our obsessions are irrational and allowing our feelings doesn't
dispel them, it can be helpful to reason them out with a friend or therapist.
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2.
Learn to
meditate to quiet your mind.
3.
Do slow
movement to evocative music, and allow yourself to feel.
4. Write about
your feelings (ideally with your non-dominant hand) and read it to someone.
5.
Share at a CoDA
or Al-Anon meeting.
6.
Spend time in
nature.
7.
Read spiritual
literature and/or attend spiritual/religious gatherings. (Beware that religion
and spirituality can become obsessions, too)
8.
Ask yourself
what you need right now, and fill that need.
9.
Put your energy
into expanding your social network.
10.
Do something
creative.
11.
Develop
interests and passions that feed, inspire, and nurture you.
12.
Do what you
enjoy. Don't wait for someone to join you.
13.
If you're
obsessing over a broken relationship, here's a list of things
to do and think about.
14.
Do the
exercises in Codependency for Dummies, especially Chapter 9 on non
attachment, and the exercises in Conquering Shame and Codependency.
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·
Fear of
contamination or dirt
·
Having things
orderly and symmetrical
·
Aggressive or
horrific thoughts about harming yourself or others
·
Unwanted
thoughts, including aggression, or sexual or religious subjects
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Secrets Of Seducing Women https://bit.ly/3F9TJJMArticles on Relationship & DatingAlso Read : Why Relationships Fail and how to Choose the Life and Relationship You Want ? https://bit.ly/3dWutLJ Also Read : How to Save Your Relationship ! Relationship Magic - Healthy Relationships Start With These 7 Steps https://bit.ly/3sP6NBFAlso Read : How to express the Magic Words that Save Your Relationship - How to Win Your Ex Back For Good With Magic Words ? Can you really save your relationship with Text Messages? https://bit.ly/3eJpUVDAlso Read : You Can Save The Marriage, Even If You Face a Divorce and Your Spouse Doesn't Want to Save the Marriage! https://bit.ly/3A2wtfS Also Read : What to Say to Get him Back ! Here's Just 3 Great Things You Can Use Right Now. https://bit.ly/3KiSuvB Also Read : The Power of the Magic of Words - What Can I Say to Get Him Back in My Arms? https://bit.ly/3eIGXHs |
10 Common Questions Men
Have About Sex Addiction
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1. Question: Am I a
sex addict?
Answer: There are a
number of red flags that can signal an addiction to sex. A person who uses
sexual activity be it intercourse, viewing pornography, phone sex, chat rooms,
prostitution or masturbation as a numbing agent, something to prevent them from
feeling bad, may have a sex addiction. Other indicators the sexual behavior is
causing the addict problems include their spouse becoming upset over their
behavior or they've gone into debt over payment for phone sex lines or Internet
pornography sites. Spending an excessive amount of time viewing pornography
Over 10 hours a week is another red flag, since this sexual behavior is
interfering with time spent with friends, family or at work.
Another key factor is
the addict has tried to stop engaging in sexual behavior but failed. When all
these things come together, it's time to ask a professional about getting help.
2. Question: Can I be
cured?
3. Question: Does
being cured mean I give up sex?
Answer: No. Unlike
chemical dependencies related to alcohol or drugs, sex is recognized as a
healthy aspect of life. Treatment for sex addiction, while it does involve a
period of abstinence, seeks to bring harmful and unwanted troublesome sexual
activity under control to where it is no longer causing harm. It may lead to
stopping viewing pornography, discontinuing solicitation of prostitutes and
other "bottom line" behaviors or even illegal activities. The goal is
stopping harmful behavior, but certainly not giving up sex.
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4. Question: Is sex
addiction even real, or just something people use to excuse their behavior?
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5. Question: What
caused this? How did I get to be this way?
While knowing the
cause of sex addiction is important, those on the path to recovery should not
seek to dwell on the unchangeable past; instead, they need to focus on their
present actions.
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6. Question: Does
viewing pornography and sexual interaction over the Internet count as cheating
on my spouse?
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Even pornography
viewing can be a sore spot for women. Society places a lot of pressure on women
to be physically attractive and sexually desirable and they may feel they are
in competition with actresses in pornographic videos. This can affect their
self-esteem, even if they do not confront their husband about the behavior.
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7. Question: Can
medication lower my sex drive so I don't have this problem.
Answer: Yes and no.
There are medications out there that can lower a person's sex drive, and they
are often used to treat sex addiction. However, they are limited in their power
to erase the problem completely. Some form of therapy, be it a 12 step program
or other process, is required.
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9. Question: I'm also
addicted to alcohol. Is my sex addiction just a sign that I'm susceptible to
addictive behaviors in general?
Answer: In some ways,
yes. Many sex addicts report being addicted to alcohol, drugs, or behaviors
such as gambling. They also claim family members with various addictions. It's
certainly been theorized that a person can have a genetic predisposition to
addictive behaviors. As to treating multiple addictions, it should be noted
that many sex addiction treatment programs are modeled after alcohol treatment
techniques developed by Alcoholics Anonymous. 12 step programs such as
Sexaholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
model their programs after and borrow their literature from that organization.
10. Question: Am I
really a sex addict or is my sex drive just naturally high?
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[https://obsessionmethod.com/?hop=0]
helps individuals struggling with Sex Addiction, Porn Addiction, Compulsive
Masturbation, other dangerous sexual behaviors, and the consequences of those
addictions, get sober and into recovery so they can lead richer, fuller, more
successful and healthy lives. We provide information, resources, articles,
videos, CDs, DVDs, seminars, conferences, and membership sites to help
individuals better understand what sex addiction is and how to deal with it.
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Turn Her On Without Saying A Word, 3 Techniques for Making Her Want You
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You might’ve heard of Dr.
Pavlov’s famous experiment:
Where he’d ring a bell every time he fed his dogs…
And after a few repetitions…
Just hearing the bell would make the dogs salivate
uncontrollably.
The sound of the bell became powerfully linked in
the dogs’ brains to the feeling of hunger…
And they couldn’t help drooling
It’s a process called classical Conditioning…
And you can use it to get any woman hungry for
your touch…
This instructional video shows you how:
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When you casually touch a woman in a certain way
every time she has positive feelings…
She starts to ASSOCIATE your touch with those
“good feelings”…
And very quickly…
She’s thinking about your touch all the time…
She’s imagining how good it’ll make her feel…
And when you’re not around…
She experiences an intense craving to feel your
hands on her.
Using “Pavlov’s Theory” is one of 3 cool
techniques my friend Kate shares in this instructional video:
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It shows you not only how to make her crave your
touch…
But also a technique for making her think about
kissing you…
And a way to unlock feelings of uncontrollable
lust for you…
It’s deadly effective…
Contains techniques you can use right away…
And is based on scientific research out of Harvard.
Check out the practical advice in Kate’s video now:
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watch now
All the best,
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The Obsession Method - Men's Dating Offer https://bit.ly/3tLPvpD |
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The Obsession Method - Men's Dating Offer https://bit.ly/3tLPvpD |
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